And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
