I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
