there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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