You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
