do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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