ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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