What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
