I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
