hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mom said you looked used
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
