the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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