The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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