ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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