I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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