I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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