Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
