oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
