I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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