ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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