I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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