I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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