i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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