Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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