yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Terrible idea I love it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
