I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
