Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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