I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I die, sorry about rent.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
