And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
