girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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