idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
