dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
