the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
