Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
