first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
