found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
