Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
