guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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