he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize