We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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