guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
