you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
