and you said cock pushups were impossible
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
