Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
