youre lurking in front of me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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