Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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