well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize