My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
