break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think i have two assholes
Girls should come with a carfax report
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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