i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
