the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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