I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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