i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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