cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize