She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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