idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
