Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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