you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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