im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
