i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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