Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
