only if we run a train.
done.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
