I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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