Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
