I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize