office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Bring me that man meat
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize